Nishas world and baby Alisha

Something seems to overpower me once again after months i feel myself on the verge of breaking down again... on the verge of a deadly battle between heart and mind. I've struggled to pull myself together during the last few traumatic months, and throughout the terrible year and finally got myself together to face the world. God help me get rid of this anxiety, these fears, the negativeness and the anguish that seems to overwhelm my soul. Calm the restless sea within me...

There has already been a fight in the past few months, i have lost a lot and i don't want to lose again. I don't want to take a chance where i know i might just give myself up as i see my heart breaking into pieces scattered all over the place. My heart feels like its been shredded and crushed for reasons only known to me. The waves have been crashing on my tender heart for too long now and its too much to bear... And somewhere between those pages of life i'm losing myself... I'm not able to calm. Let me calm.... i need calmness... peace of mind